Couples Therapy
Couples Therapy in California
Couples therapy is counseling that both partners attend together, focused on the pattern between you rather than on deciding who is at fault. At Rise & Rooted Therapy it is provided by secure video to couples located in California, and it is useful well before a relationship reaches crisis. Many couples come in because they feel distant, not because they are constantly fighting.
Why this happens
Why couples come in
Most couples do not arrive with one enormous problem. They arrive with a loop. The same disagreement in different clothing, each round a little faster and a little more discouraging than the last.
Under most loops is something fairly simple and hard to say in the moment. One partner reaches for reassurance and it comes out as criticism. The other feels they are failing and goes quiet, which reads as not caring, which sends the first partner reaching harder. Neither is wrong about how it feels. Both are responding to something older than this relationship.
The work is to slow the loop down enough that you can both see it, and to make what is underneath sayable.
What this often looks like
- The same argument recurring in different forms
- Feeling more like coordinators or roommates than partners
- One partner pursuing while the other withdraws
- Conflict escalating faster than either of you intends
- Growing distance since a baby, a move, or a job change
- Wanting to reconnect but not knowing how to start
The work
How therapy helps
We work with the cycle in the room rather than refereeing the content of last week's argument. That means noticing what happens between you as it happens, naming it, and finding the softer thing underneath the sharp one.
Couples therapy commonly helps partners:
- See the recurring cycle clearly, as a shared problem rather than a fault
- Communicate hurt without it arriving as blame
- Slow escalation and repair after conflict, rather than avoiding it
- Understand how each partner's attachment history shapes the dynamic
- Rebuild closeness and physical and emotional intimacy
- Navigate a shared transition as a team
Getting started
When to consider reaching out
Sooner is easier than later, and couples therapy is not only for relationships in trouble. If you have been feeling distant, or having the same conversation without resolution, that is a good time.
It is also worth reaching out during a shared change, such as becoming parents, a demanding new job, a move, or a shift in family roles. Transitions put pressure on the existing arrangement between partners, and it helps to renegotiate it deliberately rather than by attrition.
“Most couples are not fighting about what they are fighting about.”
Bring the pattern in, and we will look at it together.
Consultations are free, about 20 minutes, and there is no obligation to book after. It is simply a chance to talk through what is going on and see whether working together feels right.
Common questions
Questions about couples therapy
Yes, and this is one of the most common reasons couples reach out. Distance, silence, and a sense of running parallel lives are just as workable as open conflict, and often easier to shift because less resentment has accumulated.
Generally yes, since the work is with the relationship itself. There may be occasional individual sessions to understand each person's history, but the couple remains the focus.
That is extremely common. Reluctance usually reflects a fear of being blamed rather than a lack of care. Part of my job is making the room safe enough that the more hesitant partner does not experience it as two against one.
Yes. Marriage counseling and couples therapy describe the same work here. I see married partners, engaged and long-term partners, and partners who are not living together.
Yes. As a California-licensed therapist I can work with clients who are physically located in California at the time of session, which applies to each partner.
More questions are answered on the frequently asked questions page, and fees are listed on fees & insurance.
Keep exploring
Related areas of focus
Individual Therapy
One-to-one therapy for adults who want to understand themselves more clearly and change patterns that keep repeating.
Learn moreEmotional Regulation
For feeling flooded, shut down, or reactive, and wanting steadier ground in your closest relationships.
Learn moreParenting & Family Changes
For parents whose own well-being or relationship is carrying the weight of family stress.
Learn more
Who you would be working with
About your therapist
Silvana is a California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (License #108266) and the founder of Rise & Rooted Therapy, a telehealth practice serving adults and couples throughout California. Her work is relationship-centered, attachment-informed, and grounded in a family systems perspective.
Read more about how she works →
Rise & Rooted Therapy · Telehealth throughout California